Q: Everyone says I need an emergency kit for the day of the wedding.  But what really needs to go in it?

A: We always bring a stocked emergency kit to weddings we coordinate.  We also bring a tool kit. But if your day of coordinator or venue does not provide one, here’s what you really need.

A wedding emergency kit could include any number of things, but focus on things that you, the bride, might need to get ready. Think makeup, hairspray, deodorant, body powder, rollers, hairpins, curling iron, shaving cream and razor, snack, mints, water, and your pain reliever of choice. For getting dressed, an iron (emptied of water-don’t want to drip on the dress), safety pins, body tape (prevents wardrobe malfunctions), strapless bra tape, moleskin or Band-Aids (in case of loose shoes or blisters), and scissors. 
 
Another type of emergency kit is the one that you carry with you that day, in your purse. But since you probably don't want to carry a purse all day, these are things that you put in a little bag to give to your maid of honor or your wedding coordinator to hold for you. Things I would include in your personal emergency kit are: lipstick and powder for quick makeup touchups (you’ll be surprised how shiny you get and how faded your lipstick gets during the day), tissues or a pretty hanky (those are tears of joy, I’m sure), mints, maybe even a mini toothbrush and toothpaste (it's a long night). I like to include a shout wipe for quick stain removal, an emory board, and a piece of white chalk that can also be used to cover stains on shoes. 
 
(In some parts of the country, brides need to carry a purse to accept monetary gifts directly from the guests. That’s pretty uncommon in the South.  Most guests will put their cash or checks in a card and leave on the gift table.)

Another type of emergency is the honeymoon kit. Remember that everything you need for your honeymoon – clothes, make-up etc. -- needs to be packed and ready to go at the end of the day. You may not have time to go back to the dressing room or hotel that night, so either pack that the day before and just drop in the makeup that you need, or have a duplicate set. If the honeymoon bag is packed and ready to go, someone can just grab it and throw it in the getaway vehicle and you are on your way.

As for everyone else, I think it’s sweet when the bride gives the groom a handkerchief monogrammed with their new initials to carry that day. That’s also a nice gift for moms and mothers in law. Tins of mints with your initials are also readily available from places like Oriental Trading, and are fun to share with the rest of the wedding party. They might appreciate some snacks,  too. But you don’t have to get fancy with that. Granola bars and bottles of water will suffice.

Other than that, all you really need is a  smile! Because no matter what happens -- if things don't go exactly as planned, if you forget something, or if there is an actual emergency -- your smile will let everyone know that it's all okay.

1.  Turkeys. Yes, we have turkeys, deer, raccoons, rabbits, squirrels,  foxes, ducks, geese, and an occasional coyote! Wildlife noises and messes are something we mountaineers are familiar with, but they can mess with your perfect outdoor party setting. Allow a little extra time in the morning for cleanup just in case. Also, any of these creatures can hold up your wedding party as they take their time crossing the road (well, not the coyotes and foxes – they’re pretty fast!) So allow a little extra travel time, especially in the more remote areas. 

2.  Motorcycles. Our mountain curves are popular with motorcycle riders, so be aware that an unmuffled parade could pass your outdoor location just as you say, “I Do.” Some locations also experience loud noise from helicopters (hospital airlifts are more common here), planes, and weekend hunters. Think about having the ceremony indoors where you can control the noise level.

 3.  GPS Errors. Here GPS stands for “General Path Suggestion.” It just does not work very well in some of our mountain communities. Also, you might find that cell phone coverage is non-existent in some areas, so don’t count on finding your way using only your phone. Before you head out, I would check your destination's website directions page for advice. Print it. Or bring a map. And a compass.

 4.  Traffic. It’s not the city traffic that you might be used to, but, unfortunately, our founding pioneers never anticipated the popularity of the mountains when they planned the roads around here. Around five o’clock, some of the main roads can get really congested, and there are few alternate routes. Also, there are train tracks that run right through the center of some
of our towns, and the trains run on unpredictable schedules. Again, allow some extra travel time, particularly during the fall, when slow-driving sightseers (we call them “leaf-lookers”) really slow things down.

5.  Weather. Weather changes quickly here in the mountains. In the summer we can have hot, sunny days, but we can also have a thunderstorm from 2 to 4 in the afternoon. In the spring, rain can change to hail or snow in a matter of minutes. March, April and November are particularly tricky in this respect. Have a backup plan. Most rental companies will allow you to put tents, heaters, and  fans on standby for a small fee. See more advice about this on my Weather Page.

6.  Southern Ways. We may be in the mountains, but we are still in the South.  There’s just a slower pace of life here. Even our internet runs slower. Don’t be surprised if it takes your vendors a few days to respond to your calls or emails. Try to be patient with us. If you have not heard back after three or four days, then I would try again. We were probably just out shooing some geese off the lawn,  repairing damage from a hail storm, or stuck in traffic (see above).

Trouble finding your wedding style? Your colors? Your theme? No, I’m not suggesting the popular Disney movie Frozen as a theme, but movies can inspire a theme. Here's my advice. Get on Pinterest. Search on “wedding style.” Start pinning. Don’t think about it. Pin whatever jumps out at you. (Tearing photos out of wedding magazines would also work.) Something about these 3 photos really grabbed one bride.

Was it is the color? No, not crazy about yellow or coral. The style? No, not crazy about the dresses. And we’re not near a farm or beach. After pinning, take a break, step back, and look for a common denominator. Then you’ll know your style. While taking a break from looking at these photos, we were interrupted by my daughter. She and the bride got to talking about how they both loved the music from the movie Frozen.  Maybe we had the song “In Summer” in our heads, but when we went back to the montage, we realized that what these photos had in common was summer -- bright colors, casual style, and sunshine. I summed it up as "summer day." There's the theme! Doesn’t matter that it’s a fall wedding. We’re using summer colors. Dresses in blue, flowers with blues, greens, a touch of yellow. Linens in green, blue, yellow and red checked gingham (don’t want to be too matchy matchy). Invitations, favors, decorations with a subtle sun motif. Mason jars, lemonade, iced tea. See it now? No, there won’t be a first dance to “In Summer.” We don’t want to beat people over the head with the theme. But we might be humming it during our next planning session!

I am often asked, "What does a wedding coordinator really do?" To answer that, I could write a long list of duties performed by a wedding coordinator, but I might paint a clearer picture by referring to two characters on the popular television series, Downton Abbey. If you're a fan of Downton Abbey you must be acquainted with Mr. Carson, the head butler who runs the household with the assistance of Mrs. Hughes, the chief housekeeper.  He directs the male staff in their duties and assures that no one is goofing off when they should be working.  When a guest arrives at the Abbey, he greets them and directs them to the room where they will be received. When it's time for a meal he selects the best wine, chooses the china and flatware, and checks and doublechecks that each place is set properly. After the guests are seated,  Mr. Carson oversees the serving of the food, alerts Mrs. Patmore when it's time to bring up the next course, and directs the clearing of the dishes.  Meanwhile, Mrs. Hughes oversees the females.  Her staff help the ladies with dressing, make sure the clothes and linens are clean and pressed, and assures every room is cleaned, dusted and ready for guests. Together they keep an eye out for potential problems, and they work together to resolve them before they come to the attention of Lord and Lady Grantham.  If you could combine these two wonderful servants and bring them to your event, then you would have the perfect wedding coordinator!  The coordinator works behind the scenes making sure that everything is set up properly and is ready to go at the appropriate time.  She assures that every family member and every guest is welcomed, has all their needs met, and feels important.  She directs the rest of the staff (your vendors, in this scenario) in the performance of their duties.  A mistress of manners and etiquette, she performs these duties gracefully and quietly in the background, drawing no attention to herself. I am sure Mr. Carson would approve!