From a recent newlywed: "To be honest with you, since the wedding I've been feeling a little down, and it also seems like my fiancé and I don't have anything to talk about or do together now! I mean my husband! I was just wondering if that is normal."
Miss Ellie Says: It is totally normal to feel let down after a big event like a wedding has ended -- think about when you graduated high school, finished your masters' thesis, or completed that big project at work -- it's just part of life! You are lucky your husband was so involved in the planning, because that is not comfortable territory for most men! Men need some down time after a big event, so let him have it. You Type A's might need a little break yourself right now. If you are like most couples, you also moved and/or changed jobs sometime during the planning period, so that was a lot of stress on both of you. You know that Khalil Gibran quote that many couples have read at their ceremony?
But let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Now is the time for a little space. Reconnect with your girlfriends, get back to the gym, or catch up on that tv series you missed. And make sure you have really finished the wedding wrap up -- do you still have thank you notes to write, a photo album or scrapbook to complete, (consider a scrapbooking class at Michael's), or gifts to find places for? Another thing you can do to relive the wedding experience is to go online and review your wedding vendors -- they really appreciate those reviews, and you will he helping future brides!
Don't start another major project to fill the void; both of you need some time to regroup. Now, that being said, there are some things you can do to strengthen your relationship at this point. in addition to finding new things you can do on your own, find some new things you can do with your husband. Why not start a date night tradition? If you got married on the 12th, try to do something every 12th, or every third Thursday, or something like that. In a few months, start thinking about your first anniversary. Don't go and make a big production of it, but do start planning something together to commemorate that special day.
I want to caution you about one thing. This is not the time to start wedding planning business! Yes, you were very successful at planning your own wedding, but that does not mean you are ready to plan other people's weddings. I've seen a lot of brides do that over the years, but you need a lot more experience than one wedding to bill yourself as a professional wedding planner. But if it was truly something that you enjoyed doing, and you want to give it a try, find a planner to work for. Help them on a few events and see if it's something that you really might want to do full-time. Another possibility is -- if you did a lot of DIY for your own wedding and it turned out well, you might find a market for those skills by selling custom-made wedding items via Etsy. (Let me know if you do, I've probably got customers for you!)
One last thing to remember: The up and down cycle of life is something to get used to -- just wait until you go through the nine-month planning experience of having your first child!
Miss Ellie Says: It is totally normal to feel let down after a big event like a wedding has ended -- think about when you graduated high school, finished your masters' thesis, or completed that big project at work -- it's just part of life! You are lucky your husband was so involved in the planning, because that is not comfortable territory for most men! Men need some down time after a big event, so let him have it. You Type A's might need a little break yourself right now. If you are like most couples, you also moved and/or changed jobs sometime during the planning period, so that was a lot of stress on both of you. You know that Khalil Gibran quote that many couples have read at their ceremony?
But let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Now is the time for a little space. Reconnect with your girlfriends, get back to the gym, or catch up on that tv series you missed. And make sure you have really finished the wedding wrap up -- do you still have thank you notes to write, a photo album or scrapbook to complete, (consider a scrapbooking class at Michael's), or gifts to find places for? Another thing you can do to relive the wedding experience is to go online and review your wedding vendors -- they really appreciate those reviews, and you will he helping future brides!
Don't start another major project to fill the void; both of you need some time to regroup. Now, that being said, there are some things you can do to strengthen your relationship at this point. in addition to finding new things you can do on your own, find some new things you can do with your husband. Why not start a date night tradition? If you got married on the 12th, try to do something every 12th, or every third Thursday, or something like that. In a few months, start thinking about your first anniversary. Don't go and make a big production of it, but do start planning something together to commemorate that special day.
I want to caution you about one thing. This is not the time to start wedding planning business! Yes, you were very successful at planning your own wedding, but that does not mean you are ready to plan other people's weddings. I've seen a lot of brides do that over the years, but you need a lot more experience than one wedding to bill yourself as a professional wedding planner. But if it was truly something that you enjoyed doing, and you want to give it a try, find a planner to work for. Help them on a few events and see if it's something that you really might want to do full-time. Another possibility is -- if you did a lot of DIY for your own wedding and it turned out well, you might find a market for those skills by selling custom-made wedding items via Etsy. (Let me know if you do, I've probably got customers for you!)
One last thing to remember: The up and down cycle of life is something to get used to -- just wait until you go through the nine-month planning experience of having your first child!
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