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Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Planning a Wedding during a Pandemic, and What to Do After the Wedding

11/16/2020

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art 1 of a series on wedding planning and marriage during the pandemic, by guest writer Lena Borrelli

Weddings and Moving in With Your New Spouse During the Pandemic
BY LENA BORRELLI
Updated November 11, 2020​

For many couples, the coronavirus has interfered with even the best-laid wedding plans, and it has brought a once-thriving industry to a near standstill.

“Due to the pandemic, the wedding industry has been as deeply affected as the restaurant industry,” explains Amy McCord Jones, a wedding planner and florist for the past 13 years. She is also the owner of Flower Moxie, an online floral business that sells directly to DIY brides. “The Spring of 2020 was a total loss for all venues, caterers, wedding planners, and related wedding vendors, and they are scrambling to rebook and retain their clients.”

For many couples, there is a serious concern over how to plan a wedding during coronavirus, and moving in together after wedding celebrations presents yet another hurdle to overcome once life after marriage officially begins. These tips will help you stay safe when it comes to planning a wedding and living together after marriage during coronavirus.

How to safely have a wedding during COVID-19

Planning a wedding during coronavirus is an entirely different matter than the traditional wedding. “In many places, gatherings numbers are restricted and many states are taking a phased approach, which leaves couples to face planning a wedding without knowing exactly what restrictions will be in place by the time their scheduled wedding happens,” explains Katie Elder, owner of the Overlook Barn, a premier wedding venue in Banner Elk, North Carolina.

A recent survey by Promoleaf shows that 39% of those polled favored social distancing being enforced at weddings, with 41% preferring that all guests wear masks and 34% preferring an outdoor venue for COVID weddings. The median preference for the guest count is 50 people, with less than 1% of respondents comfortable with 200 attendees or more.

“We’re seeing smaller weddings, more elopements, and those holding on for normality by pushing their wedding another year,” says SJ Meyer, who offers wedding planning and catering services through her business, Lickskillet Catering, in Fort Collins, Colorado. COVID affected Meyer personally, impacting her own wedding plans. She has been forced to infuse innovation and ingenuity when reshuffling her clients’ dream mountain weddings.

The pandemic has made for an entirely different wedding planning experience than most couples and industry professionals are used to. If you’re wondering how to plan a wedding during a pandemic, or even how to move in with your new spouse in the age of quarantine, here are a few pointers.
  • Initial wedding preparations
  • COVID-safe ceremony ideas
  • Preparing for a change of plans
  • If you’re thinking about postponing your wedding
 
Initial wedding preparations 
When deciding how to proceed with your wedding, communication is your best friend. Talk to your significant other about your individual expectations and how best to meet them. This is a very stressful and emotional time, and the additional emotional and financial stress can weigh on your relationship if you are not careful.

To better ground yourself, create a detailed budget for your wedding and stick to it. These are some great resources from sites like The Knot and Wedding Wire that will help you understand and stick to your budget.

Follow CDC guidelines As the country continues to fight the spread of coronavirus, experts at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the World Health Organization continue to highlight the importance of wearing masks in public to reduce infection. Calls for strict social distancing can impact even the slightest details of your wedding, making things like cocktail hour, reception seating, and dinner service all complicated to accomplish safely.

Elder has really seen the impact of coronavirus on weddings held at the Overlook Barn. “Weddings also look different this year, masks, sanitizing, distancing, a focus on outdoor celebrations . . .” she explains.
She spoke with us exclusively, listing some of the precautions you can take to help mitigate the risk of COVID-19.
  • Require masks for all guests and, of course, all of the regular hygiene – regular hand washing, sanitizing stations available, etc.
  • Move as much of the wedding and reception outdoors as possible. (For her part, Elder offers a brand-new outdoor pavilion that was built to accommodate coronavirus wedding couples.)
  • Consider “guest pods” to reduce mingling in larger groups. These are seating pods of people together who are related or who already see each other regularly to mingle together throughout the event.
  • Increase airflow wherever possible by opening windows and adding air filtration in more confined spaces. Elder invested in HEPA filtration for their bridal suites.
  • Hand sanitizer has also risen in popularity for many wedding gift bags and favors.

Look into vendor guidelines
It is also important to thoroughly review vendor guidelines and procedures to ensure the safety of you and your guests. Brian Worley, owner and founder of Brian Worley Productions in Atlanta, walks through some of the precautions he and his team are taking.
  • Hand sanitizer provided around the venue
  • Social distancing the tables
  • Limited number of guests seated at each table.
  • Individually rolled flatware
  • All food stations must be chef attended and guests are not allowed to grab their own food.
  • All the bars had Plexi shield guards, much like the checkout at a store.
  • We are increasing the number of bars so that the lines do not build up.
  • There is only one bartender per bar, where in the past we have had two.

Don’t forget about the fine print in those contracts, either. “The very first thing couples should do is read through their contracts. Hotels have actually been very good about moving the wedding without issue, but I have run into some issues with other vendors who consider it a cancelation and rebooking,” says Keith Willard, President of Keith Willard Events and President of NACE’s South Florida chapter.

COVID-safe ceremony ideas Instead of extravagant wedding ceremonies, many COVID-19 couples are rethinking the traditional wedding approach. Smaller ceremonies are not only more affordable (a boon if you or your fiance were affected by coronavirus layoffs) and easier to manage, but they are considerably safer.

Outdoor wedding SJ Meyer recommends instead moving your weddings to an outdoor tent. And if you happen to already own the land where you put the tent, even better. “Since guest counts are also lower, couples are also finding it easier to throw a wedding in their yard, around the pool or in a garden” says Worley. However, he warns you need your outdoor space to be one that easily accommodates social distancing – and one with shade.

Wristband system Jason Miller, CEO of Promoleaf, comments, “A popular trend we’re noticing is simply a three-tier, plastic wristband system issued to each guest or event attendee based on their own comfort level.”  How it works:
  • Red wristband for high-risk guests that prefer social distancing of at least ten feet
  • Yellow band for regular social distancing preferences of six feet
  • Green band for those who are comfortable with a handshake or hug.

“As long as everyone at the event respects the comfort level of others, this can be a solution allowing you to be inclusive while enabling all of your guests to feel comfortable and welcome.”

Local venues Instead of the traditional church or hotel ballroom, consider new, creative venues that can accommodate your wedding. Places like local vineyards and breweries are on-trend and already institute heightened coronavirus protocols. Plus, they can usually accommodate outdoor gatherings.

Courthouse weddings If you are delaying your wedding reception but don’t want to wait to actually tie the knot, courthouse weddings are a quick, easy way to make your vows official while you wait for a larger celebration to follow.

Wedding Wire provides a handy guide to wedding laws for every state in the country so you can check your state’s laws and requirements before you head to the courthouse.

Elopements For some couples, an elopement can be just the ticket to a COVID-friendly marriage.
“Think outside the box,” says Meyer. “Another option is to elope and plan a party down the road for when there is availability.”

An elopement can be a stress-free way to approach your wedding by foregoing all of the traditional trimmings, such as seating, transportation and pricey venue rentals.

Places of worship Many couples plan to incorporate a specific place of worship into their ceremony. This could be a church, temple, mosque, gurudwara, or synagogue, but each of these may differ in how they are treating the coronavirus pandemic.

No matter what you decide, you should maintain regular communication with your venue to ensure that you are kept abreast of all developments and protocols as the pandemic progresses.

Fun ways to safely include loved ones

  • Virtual/ streaming wedding
Ivy Summer, the author of Poise Over Panic: How to Plan a Wedding in a Pandemic, has seen the coronavirus affect engaged couples in many ways. “There are couples who originally planned to host a bicoastal wedding reception, but those plans were inevitably disrupted by shelter-in-place orders and consequential travel restrictions,” she says.

Elder offers a way around this with an innovative new solution at the Overlook Barn. “Provide a livestream option,” she urges. “This allows higher-risk guests to stay home and still celebrate with the couple and also is a way to reduce your guest list of people who will be there in person.”

A lot of wedding videography and photography companies have updated their pandemic repertoire to including livestreaming services. Plus, livestreams are often recorded. These recordings are also easy to share after the fact, forever memorializing your nuptials in a way that you can enjoy again and again.

  • Drive-by wedding
Guests can visit a location between certain hours, driving by slowly while they greet the couple from the safety of their cars

Preparing for a change of plans

Flexibility is one of the most important things you can maintain when planning a coronavirus wedding. Says Meyer, “If you’re flexible about having your wedding on a weekday or end of the weekend, you not only save money, but might be able to have all the vendors you’ve previously booked and not have to miss out on nonrefundable fees.”

In case you do find yourself drowning in fees, leading wedding website The Knot has created a $10 million financial assistance program to assist wedding professionals severely impacted by the coronavirus.
Keeping guests informedOne of the most difficult parts of planning a wedding is maintaining communication with all involved parties. Not just guests, bud vendors, too.

Building a free wedding website can be a great way to instantly update all of your guests and vendors, keeping everyone in the loop. Your site will allow you to update all of your family and guests with a single post, freeing up more time for you to plan with your vendors. You can also give specific details and instructions surrounding coronavirus precautions so your guests will feel more comfortable supporting you on your big day.

Read the room
Before you make a final decision, Elder suggests going straight to your guests. “Send a quick survey out to your guests to gauge their comfort level in attending if you do not postpone; this will help you decide if postponement is right for you.”

If you do decide to change your date, Summer recommends that you reach out to your VIPs before setting a new date. “If you can’t imagine yourself getting married without them, then get in touch to ensure they’re available for your new wedding date.”

Wedding insurance
McCord Jones addresses the problems affecting the entire industry. “For vendors, they are in a hard place because their contracts do not address pandemics, and many couples are requesting all deposits and payments to be returned, as they may need the funds due to job losses.  This proves to be a nightmare for the entire industry.”

Wedding insurance could help. There is the traditional form of liability insurance that will protect you from liability relating to wedding-related accidents and injuries. There is also cancellation insurance, which can protect you financially should you have to cancel your wedding for any of the covered reasons.

If you’re thinking about postponing your wedding
When asked about what is missed most about weddings, Promoleaf’s survey showed that over half of respondents (53%) said what they miss most is hugging and interacting with the bride and groom, family and friends. Dancing, buffets and open bars, particularly among male respondents, are also very much missed. Postponing your wedding could allow you the opportunity to save that human interaction by choosing a date in the future.

Give yourself time to process
“A wedding is a huge life event,” says McCord Jones. “My best advice, as a former wedding planner, is to do some soul searching with your fiance on priorities which choice will grieve you most.”

There are also practical reasons for not postponing. McCord Jones says that in addition to the stress, a postponed wedding could impact financial and family planning goals. If you find yourself in the situation where your health insurance may be impacted by postponing your ceremony, consider a courthouse wedding or an elopement and save your celebratory reception for down the road.

Find support
Wedding websites like The Knot, Wedding Wire and Wedding Pro have always been popular forums for brides and grooms, but those forums have evolved into emotional support groups in the age of COVID-19. Websites and social media groups like those on Facebook are an excellent source of support from those who are experiencing many of the same challenges as you and your significant other.

“Take the time to mourn,” says Willard. “You are dealing with the loss of the anticipated experience. Months and years have gone by planning your wedding. It’s important to acknowledge these things and allow yourself to move on.”

Keep your vendors in mind
For many of Meyer’s couples, moving dates and locations have presented a serious issue. “Not all vendors are able to move to their new locations, or they are losing out on deposits from venues,” she says. “It costs more money and is a headache to get rescheduled.”

Work with your vendors to find the best solution for your wedding. Vendor contracts and cancellation policies may vary, but many wedding vendors are committed to executing their clients’ events.

As a wedding planner, Meyer recommends using professional services like hers to help with the rescheduling process. “If you have a wedding coordinator, talk to them and see how they can help.”

Make sure you have all your vendors onboard before announcing anything to your guests, cautions Melanie Levin, the owner and principal planner of LuckEleven Events in Los Angeles. An easy way to track this, Willard recommends, is a group message. “Get all of your vendors’ emails into one message.  This will dramatically reduce the amount of communication that you have to do with each of the vendors.”

Update your guests
Your wedding website can help here, delivering details about travel cancellation and refunds. Your coordinator may also be able to help negotiate hotel room blocks. But you also need to prepare to watch the guestlist dwindle.

Couples are dealing with new limitations and requirements being instituted by both new and old venues. This could mean significant changes to your guest list, whether it is due to space, budget, or illness. And you’ll have to accept the fact that some of your guests are uncomfortable with the idea of attending a wedding in a pandemic.

Reevaluate your budget
A wedding is a carefully balanced house of cards, and the slightest change can have significant bearing on your plans and budget. Regardless of whether you choose to postpone your wedding, you should take this opportunity to reassess your budget.

The average wedding in 2019 cost nearly $34,000, but coronavirus has introduced all sorts of new expenses that can seriously impact your budget. Many couples are using personal loans to help cover the new costs associated with their wedding plans.

Additional Resources
  • CDC Considerations for Events & Gatherings
  • WeddingPro COVID-19 Planning Resources 
  • Minted Wedding Planning Guide During the Coronavirus
  • Wedding Wire’s COVID-19 Wedding Advice Guide
  • The Knot Official Guide for COVID-19 Wedding Help

Click here to go to Part 2: After the Wedding...

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Advice About Wedding Loans from Lending Tree

3/20/2018

 
A Wedding Loan Option
​Unsecured loans, also called personal loans or signature loans, involve borrowing money without putting up any collateral. LendingTree personal loan offers allow you to shop for the best rates and terms for personal loans up to $35,000.

What Are Wedding Loans?
The cost of the average 2016 wedding was $35,329, according to the XO Group. It’s the highest recorded average, and a heavy price to pay to walk down the aisle. It’s one that most people can’t float even with savings. To finance these costs, many couples turn to wedding loans. Wedding loans aren’t something your financial institution will have on their register of products. Rather, they will issue you a personal loan you can use to finance wedding expenses. When you get a personal loan, you will receive all your money upfront. You can get an unsecured personal loan for your wedding — which means you won’t have to put up any collateral — but you will have to make monthly payments throughout a set term. Personal loans come with either fixed or variable interest rates. Fixed rates tend to look higher when you’re comparing loan options, but because they stay stable throughout the course of your loan term, your loan payments and costs are predictable. Variable rates change with the market, so you may see increased rates after you start paying, making monthly payments less predictable. With good credit and a favorable debt-to-income ratio, you may be able to get a personal loan with an interest rate much lower than a credit card APR, but rates vary widely by lender, loan term, loan amount and application qualifications.

Why get a wedding loan?
Wedding loans can help you avoid potentially undesirable situations like dipping into your savings or using credit cards with high interest rates to cover the costs of the celebration. It can also allow you to avoid asking family for money, but if you’re comfortable with that and can get a 0 percent interest loan from a family member, that may be a good route to take. It would allow you to spread out the costs of the event without incurring interest charges or loan origination fees. However, you may not have family members who are able to loan such a large sum, or you may be wary of the strain such a large loan would place on your relationship. Borrowing money for a wedding could also help you preserve your savings. A solid emergency fund is an important financial tool to have at your disposal, and you may want to keep that money where it is should a catastrophe pop up. Keep in mind that if your savings is allocated to something like a home purchase, though, taking out a large personal loan may affect how much money you can borrow for a mortgage, or even put your approval in jeopardy. Wedding loans may help you afford the day of your dreams, but be careful: You want to be sure you can afford any loan you take out.

The risks of financing your wedding
Financing your wedding may be able to help you afford more in the moment, but it can lead to financial stress down the line. Not only will you have to repay the money you borrowed to afford a great venue or invite more guests, but you’ll also have to repay interest.  Tara Falcone, a certified financial planner  and owner of ReisUP LLC, cautions against financing your big day.
“If you cannot afford a luxurious wedding upfront, you’re still not going to be able afford it with a credit card or personal loan,” she says. Merging finances with your partner “is tricky, anyways,” she says. “The last thing you should do is put a heavy debt burden on the relationship from the get-go.”  Money problems are one of the top three causes for divorce, according to the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts. (The other two, incompatibility and infidelity). Adding debt to a new marriage could start problems early on. The money you have to allocate toward repaying a wedding loan could make it harder for you to reach other financial goals, like saving up to buy a house, have children or get out of student loan debt.

How to get a personal loan
If you are interested in getting a personal loan to fund your wedding day, the first thing you’ll want to do is some comparison shopping. You can use this tool to see who is offering the best rates and terms for your specific situation.
Here are some of the line items you’ll want to consider:
  • Loan amount. How much will the lender let you borrow?
  • APR. APR includes both interest rate and any origination fees, and it is the most effective way to compare the costs of financing across a range of lenders and products.
  • Term. Your term is the amount of time you will be repaying your loan. Longer loan terms tend to have lower interest rates, but you’ll be paying a lower interest rate over a longer period of time. In many cases, this makes longer loan terms more expensive despite a lower APR.
Once you’ve identified a handful of lenders, fill out the application. Most will allow you to do so online. Be prepared with all of your basic identifying information, including your Social Security number and address, along with documentation to verify your income. Paperwork requirements can vary from lender to lender. Know that you do not have to be married to take out a joint loan for your wedding. You will need to put both partners’ information on your application, and understand that you will both be financially responsible for repayment, regardless of what happens to your marriage or individual employment situations down the line. If one partner has a stronger credit history than the other, it may be more advantageous to have the partner with the better credit apply on his/her own. This is especially true if the partner with the less-desirable credit score has low or no income.

How to get the best rate
Lenders will determine your interest rate based on a number of different factors, including your credit history and income.
For a personal loan, having a DTI below 36 percent is considered good, and a good way to improve it is by paying off your debt.  (When looking at your credit history, one of the determining factors will be your debt-to-income (DTI) ratio. A debt-to-income ratio is calculated by dividing total recurring monthly debt by gross monthly income. For example, if your monthly debts equal $1,000 and your gross monthly income is $4,000, your DTI ratio is $1,000 / $4,000 = 0.25 or 25 percent.
Lenders prefer for borrowers to have a debt-to-income ratio of less than 36 percent, with no more than 28 percent of that debt being paid toward the mortgage. Generally, it’s difficult for a borrower with a DTI ratio greater than 43 percent to be qualified for a loan.)  Paying off revolving debt (e.g. credit cards) will also help you improve your credit utilization rate. This number looks at how much credit you have extended to you, versus how much you are actually using. Using a small amount of your available credit can have a positive effect on your credit score, which can help you qualify for lower interest rates when you are borrowing money. You could also work to improve your DTI and credit utilization by increasing your income and, as a result, pay more toward your debt. Go for that promotion at work. Bring up salary at your annual performance review. Start a side hustle. The more documentable income you bring in, the better. Plus, you can use that extra cash to save for your wedding so you won’t feel like you have to finance it.

Other ways to finance a wedding
If a personal loan doesn’t sound like the right solution for you, there are other options. Falcone, the financial planner, used a credit card with a 12-month, 0-percent APR promo to pay some of her wedding expenses upfront. “We could technically afford our wedding, but we didn’t want to dip into savings,” she says. “We used it for large, upfront expenses. The caterer, for example. We made sure to pay it off in full, chunk by chunk, over the course of six months. We could do that at 0-percent interest with no financing costs.”  Because she paid off her balance in full before the promotional rate expired, she was able to maintain her savings and dodge paying any interest on her wedding expenses. If you have good credit, you may be able to qualify for a credit card with such a financing promotion — with some offers available now, you could get nearly two years of interest-free financing on new purchases. Another option is a home equity line of credit (HELOC), if you’re a homeowner and have equity in your home. When you have a HELOC, you can tap it for specific amounts of money when you need it.

How to use a wedding loan responsibly
If you choose to pursue a personal loan, you’ll need to know how much money you need up front. It’s important to not borrow more than you need. If you do, you’ll end up paying unnecessary interest. On top of not borrowing more than you need to pay your wedding bills, you also want to make sure you keep your wedding budget in a range where you’ll be able to reasonably pay off your debt. Missing loan payments can significantly damage your credit standing, which could hurt your ability to rent a home, get a mortgage or, in some cases, get a job. To avoid these pitfalls, sit down with your partner and figure out how much you can reasonably afford to pay each month. Then, weigh your budget against the personal loan quotes you receive. If your wedding expenses will result in a monthly bill that will exceed your budget, you must lower your wedding expenses.

How to avoid financing a wedding with loans or credit
Falcone passionately warns against the dangers of financing a wedding you can’t currently afford. She also has some tips for keeping your costs down so you won’t have to apply for credit in the first place. First, for her wedding, she kept her guest list as small as possible. The same XO Group study that found the record-setting average wedding expenditures also found that cost per guest had gone up over previous years. Consequently, one of the most effective ways to cut your wedding costs is to limit your guest list. Falcone also looked at the resale market. For example, she wanted a very specific — and very expensive — wedding dress for her big day. She researched what she might be able to sell it for after she and her husband had exchanged vows. “I knew I’d be able to sell it for roughly half of what I paid for it,” she says. “I essentially split the cost with another bride.” Finally, she negotiated and stuck firmly to her budget with each vendor. “Whenever a company or a provider hears the term ‘wedding,’ for whatever reason, instantly the prices jack up,” she says. “If you have a set budget in mind for food, venue, music, a photographer or flowers, make sure you go into the meetings with that number, and don’t budge. A lot of times they’ll be willing to work with you rather than lose your business.” Falcone also notes that while the decision will have to be weighed for each individual couple, waiting to get married in order to save for a more lavish event is another option. If you must have a big, expensive wedding, she recommends this over going into debt.

For the full article and additional financial advice, visit www.lendingtree.com/personal/wedding/#what-are-wedding-loans
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